Creatively Hilarious Home Description

Recently came across this description for a fixer upper that is so hilariously creative! 😆 Enjoy this good read! 📚 Do you have a fixer-upper home you need to sell? I can help you do that too. In fact, I have one coming up in Kent, WA this week!

“Here it is, literally the worst house on the street! The Seller has done the hard work of cleaning up the almost half-acre property (it only took 7 dumpsters!), so now is your chance to take it from here. Have you ever watched HGTV and thought, I could do that! ? If so, pack up your tape measure and start Googling how to identify a load-bearing wall because it’s time to put your money where your mouth is! The roof leaks, the floor creaks, and there’s a terrible draft, but this 3 bed, 1.5 bath home is very open concept. And by that we mean the inside is open to the outside because several of the windows are broken. There is a large, sunny window in the kitchen… and absolutely nothing else – a wonderful feature for someone interested in a bright reading space (and ordering take out for every meal). Now I know you’ve heard of a detached garage, but have you ever heard of a detached foundation?! Because that’s what you’ll find here in the large bonus room at the right of the home. And if you’re looking for a house that screams I’ve got bizarre and ominous energy, then honey stop the car because you’ve found it right here conveniently located off of US-301 in North Zephyrhills. If you need a place to stage your next post-apocalyptic zombie movie, this is it (the covered porch has really good rest here on your way to the safe zone vibes). And whether you like to turn up the heat or keep it cool, it won’t matter here because there is no HVAC system. Oh and don’t forget about the brick chimney that perfectly epitomizes how we all feel after 2020 – about to collapse and going nowhere (literally, there is no fireplace inside the house). What else can be say about this one-of-a-kind opportunity? It’s not in a flood zone and will be conveyed with clear title! But we don’t have a survey and the Seller has never seen the property, so buyers are strongly encouraged to do their own due diligence. And if you’re not interested in crying yourself to sleep every night while you rehab this home, might we suggest tearing it down and building a brand new one in its place? The neighbors would likely thank you.”

What did you think of this write up??? 🙂

DAISY CASILLAS
(206) 866-8090
ListingsFor1.com
1% Real Estate Broker – The New Normal™

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s